What Are Our Values?

I think we all remember the US election and specifically when Trump was caught on tape bragging about his pussy grabbing exploits with Billy Bush. You actually may not remember as this moment seemed to filter between most American’s ear’s and then out? Did it filter? Did that actually happen? Because had it actually happened, one would have thought that this would have put the last remaining nail in the coffin for Trumps candidacy.

Anyway, I remember thinking at this time what would happen if Kellyanne Conway, Melania Trump and Ivanka Trump declared what a fucking misogynist idiot Trump was and then banded together to officially oppose him and call him on his bullshit? I remember thinking how amazed and proud I would be of that moment I made up in my head. I was suddenly inspired and wanted to become American. How would things have changed? How inspirational would that have been? Such a bold and brazen move would have been a bit of a challenge I suspect for Ivanka, given that she is blood related and everything. Nonetheless, it would have been absolutely amazing and this declaration by Ivanka specifically would have made me want to vote for her for President, if I was American.

Instead, I can only imagine what could have really been going on at Camp Trump-Ovary. I suspect Melania was not capable of doing something so inspiring given her having recited one of the First Lady’s speeches as her own. Original thought would have certainly been necessary for such a bold move. Ivanka must have thought such an act would be tantamount to betraying her Dad and was too offensive. Yes, let’s go with that. And Kellyanne, well, I don’t know what the fuck she could have been thinking (or is still thinking) so -10 points for her for not putting Women first and providing the leadership that we all crave and desire before pussygate and her own self interests.  I suspect all three women are no different than most people in that they are being lead while asleep and buying into the bullshit peddled by those in power without questioning anything.  Maybe neither have a choice.  This does not excuse this passiveness but explains it. While their self serving conduct may serve themselves quite nicely and has thus far, I wonder if either of these women or women generally take the time to really understand and know their core values and how core values shape their decisions.  I know for me that knowing my core values and living them is difficult, especially when I perceive society’s values as diametrically opposed to mine.  I’m not saying this to appear morally superior.  Believe me, I struggle with this daily and feel I am constantly reconciling my life’s decisions with what I am supposed to do.  Fuck, life as a human is hard.

I recently heard that the Rockefeller family endorsed and inspired the women’s movement in the 60’s and thereafter. When I heard this, I started thinking about the importance of this tid bit of information. I came to the realization that it made sense for the gazzillionaire banking family to take up such a worthwhile cause for two main reasons:

1) before the “women’s movement”, 50% of the population was not contributing to the economy and therefore, how would the gazzillionaire’s coffers be sustained or multiply without supporting women working?; and

2) how could their plan of global domination be accomplished if the more compassionate of the human race were at home instilling values such as love, honesty and integrity with their children instead of working their ass off trying to buy basic necessities or their 2000+ square foot home that they would spend only their evenings in and leaving their children to raise themselves, thereby slowing eroding societies values so that their said plan could take hold?

We all appear to champion equal rights for women and have made a lot of noise about equal pay, etcetera, blah, blah, blah. I’m a woman and a mom and I get it. Not blah, blah, blah because I don’t want equality or to get paid for the value I contribute, but, blah, blah, blah because is this really what we want and if so, is this how we want it? What are we striving for as women or as a society? What are our values, both as a society and individually? Understanding our values at the individual and global level must be conclusively determined if we have a chance at surviving as a species and turning things around. Once we have an understanding of our values, we must then act in accordance with these values. This is our responsibility to ourselves and to the world. To say that the conflict that we are experiencing in the world is complicated is an understatement, but a part of this conflict stems from the fact that our values (or purported values) are not in alignment with how we live our lives and what we tolerate and promote.

Today, if I used the recent US Trump election as a guidepost for the values of our world, I would suggest that we value the following:

a. lying is the new truth
b. manipulating
c. celebrity
d. rhetoric over substance
e. money
f. power
g. control

Other guideposts would reveal further tragedies. These are in no particular order, although, honesty seems to be the most obvious value our worldly fellowship seems to have overlooked as if it were leftovers at dinner.  In contrast, we claim (as Canadians and Americans) that we value truth, honesty, integrity, authenticity, love, inclusiveness and compassion, yet we don’t see this mirrored much in mainstream society do we.  We are misaligned and either know it and don’t care or have no idea.    Maybe it’s both.

I want to stop the delusion and program of self punishment we are collectively running. I don’t want us to remain sheep asleep.  I want us to be mindful of the life we want to live and to live it accordingly.  I do think that we all want the same things but our actions certainly suggest otherwise.  I note getting in touch with our true core values and living them is next to impossible in this world, but it can be done. Stating opinions such as what I have in this post will no doubt have me labelled “crazy”, which is the label most women get for voicing such opposition, but, I am desperate for honesty, love, tolerance and compassion to rule our world. I guess I’ll have to live with the label or learn to be quiet.

I would love your feedback and thoughts about this topic and others.  I want to have the conversation. I want to reclaim the values I believe are inherent in all of us but hibernating. This is how I see things today.  I am reminded by many that the world is actually in a much better state than I describe and feel most days.  I see glimpses of this and sometimes agree but this is difficult to reconcile when we allow people such as Trump get elected to such a formidable position and then wonder how the fuck he got there.  We are all responsible and played our own role.

Katherine Kowalchuk is the founder of saynotobullshit.com, lawyer, speaker and truth seeker.

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